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What’s Wrong With Finding Bigfoot!

What’s Wrong With Finding Bigfoot!

This rant is cross between a rant and an open letter to cast and producers of Finding Bigfoot.

BigfootWhen this show first aired I had such high hopes for it.  But, about halfway through the fist episode I new it was going to total shit.  It wasn’t because Matt and Bobo are constantly convinced that almost everything they don’t understand is evidence of a Bigfoot.  It’s not because Ranae is just about the only one ever to say anything remotely logical or that Cliff Barackman, well, I really don’t even know what purpose he serves other than he claims to be a biologist.  I am sure he has an important role on the show.  All I am saying is that after watching several episodes they all do the same things.  Matt and Bobo’s conclusion is always completely ridiculous and laughable.  “It was a squatch!”  Ranae and Cliff, “We don’t have enough information to say one way or the other.”

What makes the show so ridiculous is it’s complete idiocy in planning and it’s absolutely unscientific and completely illogical plan to ever find a Bigfoot.  There’s also kind of a third reason.  It’s a small reason I will admit but every time I see this show or anyone of the other shows that are out to “Investigate” some creature.  It’s as if they have completely lost their mind.  Let’s take every episode of Finding Bigfoot.  I want you for a minute to put yourselves in the shoes of these people out there looking for Bigfoot.  It’s at night and they are looking for creature that on average stands between 7 and 10 feet tall.  It is known to kill animals for food.  It’s known to to terrorize a great many campers.  It has thrown rocks at them.  Pounded on and shook vehicles.  It is a violent creature.  Now you absolutely believe this creature exists.  And, yet here you are, in the middle of the night, completely unarmed!  No mention of any weapons or even some damn bear spray.  And, your ignorant ass is out there looking for and calling to what could very well be the most dangerous animal known to mankind at this very time.  Only a complete idiot would do that.

So, I have to mention that little third problem with the show and then ignore it because there’s no getting past it and thus would endeth my rant because it proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that either none of them believe in Bigfoot or they are all out of their damn minds.  So, we have to just kind acknowledge it and then just try to move on from there and see how the show could go from completely lame to interesting, fascinating and even educational.

Problem number one is their idiot plan to catch a Bigfoot. As of right now they have traveled the world spending a few days in each place hoping that a creature who has apparently kept it’s existence hidden from most of the world for thousands and thousands of years is just going to pop out and fucking say hello just because of a few fake calls and a some slapping of sticks against a tree.  They are ignoring the evidence.  The real evidence.  This would have to be a creature of almost human levels of intelligence.  It’s obviously not just some ape roaming the woods looking for food.

A skeleton has never been found.  A body has never been found.  What does that tell you?  It’s buries it’s dead or does something with it.  So, instead of looking at all those broken over trees that seem to make no sense?  How about grabbing shovel, it’s probably a grave marker.  Any culture advanced enough to bury its dead is probably going to leave behind some kind of marker or remembrance.

You are probably going to never find a Bigfoot jumping from place to place.  This is your biggest flaw in logic.  If it’s smart enough to know to not be seen, it is certain smart enough to stay hidden for a few days while you’re out making all those stupid screams and hitting sticks against trees.  Great way to let it know you’re coming though.

What you need to do is pick an area in the Pacific Northwest right in the middle of where the most sitings are.  Set up a camp and plan to be there for several months.  Set up a perimeter of motion sensor activated cameras every few hundred yards or so.  Do this in multiple directions.  Then set up up a few video cameras in various directions high enough in the trees that they won’t be in the eye line of the Bigfoot.  Then go camping and set up a few more cameras of different kinds all around you and on you.  Set up two or three different camp sites but keep them at least a mile apart so the sound you around aren’t from the other camp sites.  Then have a normal camping trip.  Make noise, have a fire.  Sleep in your tents.  All your bases are covered.  If somethings out there and doesn’t want you there, than you are going to get some footage of it throwing rocks at your tent and snooping around as witness have claimed it does.

Now on to problem number two.  It’s nice that you have the town meetings so you can hear all the probable nutjobs talk about their encounters.  But, this is stupid.  You don’t announce to an entire town that you’re going to be out there running around the woods looking for monsters.  Hell, if I heard you were coming to my town to look and I was bored out of mind I would absolutely pick that for the time I would want to do some hiking and camping in the local mountains.  And, I would be sneaking around making all kinds of squatchy sounds in the night just to mess with you.  And, you have got to know that happens a lot to you.  I am guessing most of those sounds are just sounds from the locals making sure you have a real good time out there.

So, in the future, don’t let people know you’re going to be out in the woods looking for signs.  That’s like posting on Facebook that you and the whole family will be out of a town for a few days and then being surprised when you arrive home to discover that you have been robbed blind!

If you ever want to be respected or save any self respect you think that you still have left.  Listen more to Renae and Cliff.  Let them do the planning.  They are the only ones with any kind of actual training in research and scientific method.  Your so called “knowledge” of Bigfoot is not helping.  The best way to find real evidence is to do your best to prove that what you’re looking at is not sign of a Bigfoot.

You could actually spend the whole season in the Pacific Northwest.  The show would be amazing.  Every season you could actually spend in actual Bigfoot hotspots.  The best part is that few people will even know you were their until the show aired.  Every other season or so take a break and spend some time in Florida and chase the Skunk Ape.  Spend a season in the Himalayans’ looking for the Yeti.  But, for the love of god, stop what you’re doing now.   You’re embarrassing yourselves.  Seriously.  You could make this a great show, you just have to stop coming at it like a 15 searching the world for his first real life look at a boobies.
Or, better yet.  Pay Survivorman to go out into the Pacific Northwest.  If any could find Bigfoot, it would be him.  From what I hear, he’s no joke.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he comes back with one and video of them sitting around the fire telling stories.

Finding Bigfoot: Pseudo Science And Total Ignorance!

Finding Bigfoot: Pseudo Science And Total Ignorance!

Finding Bigfoot

Discovery Channel and Animal Planet are two of my most favorite stations. ” Dirty Jobs”, “Animal Cops”, “Mythbusters”, “Man, Woman, Wild”, “Deadliest Catch” and even “Bear Grylls”. Some fun, entertaining shows and most of them are most of important of all, educational.  Then there’s the total crap shows, Finding Bigfoot, Lost Tapes and a few others. Shows with so much potential but are ruined with misinformation and stupidity.

Now, I will admit that as bad as Lost Tapes is, I totally enjoy the show.  I know it’s fake, I know these aren’t real videos of real peoples last moments.  I get it.  However, people are for the most total morons and believe everything they see when it’s presented as a truth.  I assure you that there are a lot of people that watch Lost Tapes and believe it’s all real, I have met them.

I was in Laughlin maybe a year ago.  Sitting as usual at my black jack table  when two young Latino guys also at my table were talking to a third guy who was talking to the dealer about Vampires.  Now, it wasn’t a deep conversation.  It was actually just small talk about the Vampire Diaries I believe.  I was too busy unsuccessfully counting cards to pay much attention when one of the Latino kids says, “No man, Vampires are real! I saw it on Animal Planet, yo!”  His friend then jumps in and says something like, I saw this special, they found these tapes yo.  This family was terrorized by this monster vampire!”

I understand that Animal Planet implies the show is a complete fake by saying that the show is inspired the thought that such animal do exist.  But, they have got to understand, stupid don’t get that.  Hell, I didn’t get it at first either.  I watched the first episode and was blown away, I thought, “How in the hell did I never hear of this chick on a boat?”  I immediately went online and found so many others looking for answers as well.  After finding forum after forum with the topic, I found one that said it never happened.  It explained the myth and I was pissed!  How Animal Planet put out this war of the worlds type bullshit?  Then I saw another episode again and I paid more attention to the opening, “Inspired by the possibilities that animals like this exist.” Now I just think it’s a fun, entertaining show.  I just wish they’d make it more clear to us idiots that the show is just for fun.

Finding Bigfoot CrewFinding Bigfoot.  This takes stupidity and ignorance to a whole new level. Matt Moneymaker scares me. He can’t be as big of an idiot in real as he appears on the show. In every single episode this guy makes the most outrageous claims based on hearsay, conjecture and “eye witness reports”, oh and of course the occasional footprint. He really needs to learn about the scientific method. Now, I don’t claim to be a scientist but at least I have a the vaguest idea of how to research, document and conduct experiments. I know enough to know that just because you don’t have an answer for something doesn’t mean it’s Bigfoot.

Matt MoneymakerThis moron, just wants to believe in the creature so bad that he has lost all objectivity. This is how pretty much every show goes. Matt and his team show up and talk to some witnesses. Immediately Matt is convinced there is a Bigfoot out there. Next they take the witness out to the field and they get the big man Bobo to run, jump, skip or crawl in some manner that the “eye witness” saw the Bigfoot move. When Bobo can’t match it, Matt declares that it’s obviously a Bigfoot. If Bobo can match it, Matt pretty much ignores it and continues on until he gets to something that they can’t explain and then will declare that it’s a Bigfoot.

I would so love to go along with these people for a few trips if anything to add some objectivity to the show. The “scientist” on the show Ranae Holland never seems to get her objections listened to. Maybe the just edit them out? But, I can’t believe someone with a science researchers background like her’s isn’t laughing at him non-stop for Matt’s outrageous claims.

This show has so many possibilities but Matt’s total ignorance of science is just so laughable it makes the show a total joke. I want to like it, I want to believe in Bigfoot. I want to believe the possibility of that and so much more. But, I am not going to jump on the “It’s a Squatch!” Bandwagon based on the evidence presented in this show because Matt righteously announces that everything he hears is proof!