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Leave The Academy Awards Alone Already!

Ok, here’s the deal.  There’s nothing really wrong with the Academy Awards.  What’s wrong is giving attention to all the crybabies out there that have to open their mouths after every show.  “It’s too long, it’s too safe, nobody cares…”  Shut the fuck up already!  Jesus Christ will you people please go away already!  The only thing wrong with the show is you bitches complaining about it and of course the Academy making the mistake of  listening and trying to change it to make your dumb ass’s happy.   What they don’t get and that I do is, you fucking crybabies will never be happy!  They could send the hottest actresses and actor door to door to suck and fuck you idiots and you would still complain!  Leave the fucking show alone!

I have never complained that a show was too long.  In my humble opinion they are too short. Now, I don’t really care about every single category. But, lots of people do and I respect that.  And, I like to see what they have to say, there’s something hopeful about seeing the happiness of people getting an award that is pretty much considered the highest honor you can receive in the industry.  To actually be singled out by your peers as the best!  How cool is that.

So here are my suggestions for the Academy.  First and foremost, stop listening to the people complaining.  There is an old saying that the squeaky wheel gets the oil.  Though that may be true.  Life isn’t a bike and a squeaky wheel isn’t an opinion, it’s a fact, a problem in need of a solution.

In reality, people who complain are just that.  They are people who are so unhappy with their own life that they feel it an imperative that they have to infect everyone else with their unhappiness.  Don’t listen to these idiots, they are not the “General Public”.  They are not and have never been the majority.  The majority doesn’t write letters, they don’t complain, they just watch and have fun.

Next, speed up some of the less popular categories.  I have no problem watching them as I have already stated but there is a method to my madness here.  Knock them out quick and make them part of the un-televised portion.  So you can announce them and show some clips from it.

This leads up to the reason why you do that.  This is the biggest entertainment show of the year and there’s very little entertainment any more.  Why aren’t there more scenes from the top nominated films?  Why aren’t we seeing the songs and music being performed?  This is an awards show about fims, so make the show more like a film.  You need a beginning, middle and end to it.  You start out the show getting to know the characters (the movies).  It doesn’t matter if no one has seen the films, that’s the point of the show!  Introduce them the films to be honored, talk about them, show more clips.

As it is right now, it’s possible that by the end of the show a best picture nominee might have only had a clip of it shown once, maybe twice.  People need to care about every film.  When you go to see a movie, in most cases unless it’s a sequel or an adaptation of a book, no one knows the characters before the movie starts.  But, by the end of the film we do care, we can laugh and cry and even have our opinions changed or our thoughts and belief’s questioned.  That is the power of film and it is sadly lost at the Academy Awards because too much time is wasted on glitz and glamour.

The show should start by introducing us to the top 6 or so categories.  Best Film, Actors, Supporting, and Directing.  Picture this, the host does his number. Then he introduces last years winners for best supporting actor and actress.  They talk about this years nominees and what made their performances stand out.  Show clips from the work they are nominated for.  Next you go to best actors with the same format.  The previous years winners come out do the same for this years nominees.  Then the best director comes out, some format, talks about what a director does, why these nominated directors are special and so on, then more and different clips.  This leads into the best picture and have last years winner or winners come out.

This all will take up a good amount of time, 2o minutes, maybe more.  Then you segue with something like, “… But it takes more than just great acting and directing to make a movie, there’s sound and editing, special FX and costumes, set design to night we celebrate them all here!”

So you call out the presenters for the fist category, they step out and take a look at each film and announce the winner.  You knock out a few like this.  By now, we know who and what the top five films are and have announced some winners.  Then we take a look at one of the best pictures.  The director or producer, one of the actors, or all of them talk about the film, what they tried to accomplish with it.  Then some more awards.  Then we talk about the next best film nominee.  And we continue with this format until all the films have been talked about.  By now, even if we haven’t seen a film, we care about it.  We know about what went in to its making the movie.  And, most of all, we know about the movies nominated for best film even if we haven’t seen them.  We have listened to the actors and directors in the films.

Now we’re ready to care about who wins!  Even though we didn’t see The Artist, we know about the people in it, we saw clips, we know the actors, we saw the scenes and listened to those that made the film.  We have an interest in how it does.

I think this is what is missing from the show.